Exhibit 26: Partial Transcript, George Bird Grinnell Address to Audubon Society, 1886

Grinnell: ...and that we may, as sentient beings, come to discernment that though preservation of the self may be innate, a birthright infused into our consciousness, that the preservation of other, simpler, but no less noble creatures, be they of the sky, the sea, or the rustic untamed wilderness and desert, should be considered equally vital to our world, our surroundings, our godly gift, and the hopes of those who pursue our cause long after we have committed our spirits to the greater wilderness. Have you, now, any additional remarks or questions?

Unknown: "Free Bird"!

Grinnell: If, by some chance, I should hasten to depart from your charms in the morrow, will your recollection of my entity be fervently preserved beyond this dalliance of our spirits? I feel the drive of the open, welcoming arms of the highway, for there are many other localities that spur my urges on. To remain in your company, nourishing as it may be, may result in unreasonable expectations that this flittering spark may remain as it was this past eve. Indeed, I am as liberated as the fowls that cage the sky -- those who have not been mass-slaughtered, that is -- and you, lovely as your wiles and wares have been, cannot alter or organize my wind-chained spirit, as it casts me this way and that. You cannot, I regretfully but steadfastly maintain, change this creature -- this free bird, if you will.

Unknown: "Stairway"!

Grinnell: Oh, yeah. Real original, pal.

Exhibit 25: Set list from a supergroup featuring Fall Out Boy, Panic At The Disco and Sufjan Stevens, 2006

• Yes, President Lincoln, The Roadway To Heaven Is Paved With Tattoo Ink and Bridal Veils



• That Joke Was Probably Sexist But There's Precious Little To Be Done About It Now Because I've Just Signed Out My Tab



• When Used Properly Wheat Grass Has A Gentle Laxative Effect But I Wouldn't Do A Shot At The After Party



• I Met A Tragic Beauty At The Roger Ebert Overlooked Film Festival In Champagne-Urbana And Even Though I Know We Feel The Exact Same Way About Tron I Can Discern That In Six Months We'll Be Combing Each Other's PDA's For Genetic Evidence Of Our Betrayals (Version)



• She Called Me A Misogynist, And I Was Like All, What Are You Talking About, I've Never Even Thought About Applying To Medical School, What's The Deal Yo Are We Going to Weinerschnitzel Or Not?



• What's The Deal With These Airports? Can You Believe These Airports? Now You Gotta Pay 50 Dollars Just To Check A Second Piece Of Luggage? Am I Right? Of Course I'm Right. And What's The Deal With The Security Detail At The Airports? Hey, Officer, Is That A Laser Wand In Your Hand Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? You Know What I'm Talkin' About, Yes, You Do. And What's The Deal With Airplane Food? Where Does The Airplane Food Come From? Is It Even Real Food? I Don't Know! You've Been A Great Audience, Tip Your Waitress, I'll Be Here All Week, Try The Vichysoisse When You Get A Chance, Good Night! (Part 1)



• Stupid, Worthless, No Good, Goddamn, Freeloading Son Of A Bitch. Retarded, Big Mouth, Know-It-All, Asshole, Jerk. You Forgot Ugly, Lazy And Disrespectful. Shut Up Bitch. Go Fix Me A Turkey Pot Pie. No Dad, What About You? Fuck You. No Dad, What About You? Fuck You. Dad, What About You? Fuck You. Slap.



• If Your Girlfriend Mentions Even The Barest Affinity For The Films Of John Hughes Then That's A Clear Signal That She Is Stuck In A Nostalgic Loop That Has Nothing To Do With Achieving Any Form Of Equilibrium And You Should Probably Dump Her And Hit A Milk Bar Or Something



• I Disagree With You, Brendon, I'm Not Asking You To Turn Into A John Hughes Fan Overnight, Or Even At All, But You Can't Just Assume There's No Value To His Work, Whether Achieved Through Simple Cultural References And Easy Juxtapositions Or No, The Fact Is That Hughes Films Burned Themselves Into The Subconscious Of The Teenager Of The Eighties, And That Persists As A Sentimental Touchstone, Who Are We To Object To Sentimentality's Role In The Formation Of Our Collective Ideals, Plenty Of Other Cultures On The Marginalia Of Poverty Don't Have The Luxury Of Emotive Reasoning And We Should Acknowledge That We Are Fortunate To Employ That Kind Of Evaluative Process.



• Your Point Is Well-Taken Sufjan, But The Rest Of The Band And I Are Of The Opinion That All Pop Nostalgia Is To Be Mistrusted, And Yes I Appreciate The Irony Of That Position Because There May Come A Time When All Three Of Us Entities May Well Be Relegated To Mere Pop Nostalgia, Who Knows It May Come Sooner Than Any Of Us Think, But That Doesn't Mean We Need To Limit Our Artistic Outreach To That Faction That Responds To The Immediately Disposable Whims Of Our Culture, We Need To Determine How We Reinforce Our Art, If You Will, Because While We Are Indeed A Little More Well Off Financially Than We Were Before, Ultimately The Aim Of The Artist Is To Produce Something That Will Endure Beyond His Own Frame Of Reference, We Need To Use Our Projective Skills To Analyze And Determine How We Do That, And Though I Think It's Perfectly Fine To Enjoy John Hughes Movies As Artifacts Of Their Time, Or Even Wield A Nostalgic Fondness For Them, We Cannot Pretend That Hughes' Movies Are An Acceptable Substitute For Those Endeavors That Are Borne From Storytelling Or Simple Individual Expression But Which Wind Up Harnessing Infinite Truths That Ensure Their Endurability Throughout Future Generations, For Even Though The Temporal Immediate Rewards May Not Impress Us, The Eternal Reward Will Await Us All And Will Bear Itself Out As The Most Satisfying Reward For Both Our Souls And The Soul Of The Cosmos.



• P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
  

Exhibit 20: Transcript from a Morrison family counseling session, 1958

DR. JERRY SUGERMAN: Why don't we talk about the Indians?

ADMIRAL MORRISON: The Indians. Again with the Indians.

CLARA MORRISON: Oh, doctor, must we revisit that horrible episode?

DR. SUGERMAN: If a child of four years sees any kind of death – like the dying Indians your son saw after that car accident – the trauma can manifest itself slowly, gradually, throughout the course of his adolescence. And that makes the trauma harder to recognize.

JIM MORRISON: THE END OF OUR ELABORATE PLANS!

ADMIRAL MORRISON: God, do you have to keep having outbursts, Jim? First the supermarket, now here?

CLARA MORRISON: (crying) He's never this way at home! He just sits and listens to music with the bass turned down!

DR. SUGERMAN: Jim, count back from 10, and breathe… there. Now let's take this slowly and calmly. What do you remember about the accident?

JIM MORRISON: I remember… I remember the light, the fractured sun… the squall of the wounded eagle, flying on his side, brushing against God with one eye… the progress of mechanics, and the mystic's slump, caterwauling…

ADMIRAL MORRISON: Oh, for crying out loud. Did you pick this up from that goddamn English teacher?

CLARA MORRISON: Georgie, please…

ADMIRAL MORRISON: Please nothing, Clara! That goddamn teacher's a Communist! Or one of those free-thinkers! With that little Errol Flynn moustache and the elbow patch! That man's teaching our kids, doctor! He has access to our children!

DR. SUGERMAN: Let's try to stay focused, Admiral. This is Jim's time. Go ahead, Jim.

JIM MORRISON: And then the Great Spirit! The keeper of balance! It seeped from the shaman's wrinkled carcass like a smoking cloth! As it approached me, I eyed it with knowing! It persuaded me to inhale, to open up the portals of my personal infinity! I breathed, I breathed! I released my thoughts to the carriage of the wind! And then, like a vapor, the Great Spirit came into me!

ADMIRAL MORRISON: Military school. Why didn't I just put him in military school?

JIM MORRISON: My meat is real! Your ballroom days are over, baby!

CLARA MORRISON: Oh, God, it's just like one of those pamphlets!

JIM MORRISON: TURN OUT THE LIGHTS. TURN OUT THE LIGHTS. YOU GOTTA THRILL MY SOUL. YOU GOTTA BEEP A GUNK A CHOOKA, HONK HONK HONK.

ADMIRAL MORRISON: That's it! Jim, you're grounded!

DR. SUGERMAN: Jim, I think what you really need to do is open up to your feelings with your father and be direct about it. For just a minute, don't be a poet – don't strive so hard to be imagistic. Just talk to him simply, man to man. And remember to own your feelings – say "I am," "I want," and so forth.

JIM MORRISON: …All right.

DR. SUGERMAN: So turn and look at your dad, and look him directly in his eyes. Don't worry about how it comes out. Okay?

JIM MORRISON: Okay.

DR. SUGERMAN: Go ahead.

JIM MORRISON: Father?

ADMIRAL MORRISON: Yes, son?

JIM MORRISON: I want to kill you.

ADMIRAL MORRISON: See? See what I've been talking about? Total disrespect for authority! I gotta keep the revolver locked up in the safe now, is that it? I gotta worry about your killing me now? Seriously? I got enough to worry about without some little beatnik in diapers standing behind me raising a knife in his hand! Good grief, Jim! What did your mother and I ever do to screw you up this bad?

JIM MORRISON: Actually, I'm glad you mentioned mother, because I have something I've always needed to tell her as well…

CLARA MORRISON: Go ahead, Jimmy. I'm all ears, pumpkin.

JIM MORRISON: Mother… I want to…

DR. SUGERMAN: Oh, darn it, our time's up. Jim, hold that thought 'til next week, okay?

Exhibit 8: Transcript from a John Cage fan chatroom, 1954

fourthirtythree:
















































fluxusfan61: Ah.... ah... achoo!! Excuse me.

fourthirtythree: Goddammit, fluxus!

Exhibit 3: Transcript from a Pat Boone fan chatroom, 1964

whiteshooz69: wasssssup peoples??

iamamway: shooz!

sandyloveletters: shooz!

iamamway: did u get tix

whiteshooz69: yes:) row 13

sandyloveletters: civic aud or convention ctr?

quandoquandoquando: speedy gonzales is like totally racist

whiteshooz69: civic, sandy

iamamway: shut up quando

sandyloveletters: did you talk 2 jesusfolk shooz? he said pb went ballistic in cheboygan

whiteshooz69: how so sandy?

quandoquandoquando: amway is a racist

sandyloveletters: he didn't get a glass of water that he asked for and jesusfolk said he got snippy

whiteshooz69: NOWAY!!!!! PB GOT SNIPPY????? GET OUT!!!!!

sandyloveletters: lol

iamamway: you dont even know what that means so SHUT UP

whiteshooz69: i cant believe i missed that.... i saw him get disconcerted in dayton during aint that a shame but darn it i never saw him get snippy before

iamamway: quando ur a LOSER u drive a ford

gwhittakers: jesusfolk is totally lying. hi shooz

quandoquandoquando: frig you amway FU FU FU FU FU FU

whiteshooz69: why u say that? oh and hi g

sandyloveletters: gwhittakers your high on ovaltine

iamamway: go to heck quando -- im putting u on ignore

sandyloveletters: gwhittakers totally drinks nonfat milk

capistranoswallows: powdered lol

whiteshooz69: lol

gwhittakers: ;)

quandoquandoquando: go ahead amway I DONT CARE, speedy gonzales is totally insulting to canadians

whiteshooz69: chill quando3 it doesn't matter we all love DA PAT

iamamway: quando drives a ford and likes the beatles

sandyloveletters: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!! PAT IS ON SID CAESAR RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

gwhittakers: WHAT??????

sandyloveletters: HE'S TOTALLY WEARING THE WHITE SHOES!!!

iamamway: OH MY GOSH R U SERIOUS SANDY????

gwhittakers: OMG IT'S 2 WEEKS AFTER LABOR DAY!!! go Pat!

capistranoswallows: Oh shoot I gotta go turn on the television!!! Darn all you guys i love you goodbye!!!!

whiteshooz69: PAT'S ON THE SID????? Oh my stars!!

quandoquandoquando: frig you -- all the hip kids are into mitch miller n e wayz